tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35437525732228577912024-02-20T19:12:22.349-08:00Whatever...Most people's blogs have specific purposes but as you can see from the title, mine doesn't. I just needed a place to write on "whatever" I want.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.comBlogger90125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-13985058480168923352011-11-24T07:57:00.000-08:002011-11-24T07:59:15.273-08:00My Thanksgiving List...<span style="font-weight:bold;">To God</span>...(lyrics from "<span style="font-style:italic;">Death In His Grave</span>" by John Mark McMillan):<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Though the earth cried out for blood<br />Satisfied her hunger was<br />Billows calmed on raging seas <br />For the souls of men she craved<br /><br />Son and moon from balcony <br />Turned their head in disbelief<br />Precious love would taste the sting <br />Disfigured and disdained <br /><br />On Friday a thief<br />On Sunday a king<br />Laid down in grief <br />But awoke holding keys<br />To hell on that day<br />The firstborn of the slave<br />The man Jesus Christ laid death in His grave<br /><br />So three days in darkness slept the morning son of righteousness<br />But rose to shame the throws of death and overturned his rule<br />Now daughters and the sons of men will pay not their dews again<br />The debt of blood they owed was rent <br />When the day rolled anew <br /><br />He has cheated<br />Hell and seated<br />Us above the fall<br />In desperate places<br />He paid our wages<br />One time, once and for all<br /><br />On Friday a thief<br />On Sunday a king<br />Laid down in grief<br />But awoke holding keys<br />To hell on that day<br />The firstborn of the slave<br />The man Jesus Christ laid death in His grave</span><br /><br />Jesus conquered death and therefore we have great hope! I am supremely grateful to Jesus for his sacrificial death so that we may live with Him both now and into eternity. One day...we will be reunited with all that cheated death before us!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Penny</span> - I think about you every day. Your mark on my life is eternal. I love you and can't wait to see you again.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Gretchen & the girls</span> - I can't imagine life without you. You are my life! Gretchen - you are a rock and I am grateful for your patience and commitment to me. You pursue Christ with all of your hear, soul, and mind and your neighbors are constantly more important than you. You are a daily testament to the 1st and 2nd greatest commandments. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Family</span> - I am blessed to have family on both my side and Gretchen's side that truly desire to follow Jesus. We miss all of you while our lives are primarily lived in MN but I know this life is just the beginning of an eternity where we will celebrate God together. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Ministry</span> - I wake up every day knowing how blessed I am to be called into a life of equipping the saints for the work of the ministry. There is no other way I would want to live my life. To have the privilege to lead people into a greater fullness of God is the most satisfying life I could ever imagine. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Basketball</span> - A sport I have always loved has become a strategic exercise for Kingdom building. Through playing & coaching I have met many that need Jesus in their lives that I would have never met without this sport. I love the game and I love teaching it! <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Mom & Dad</span> - Thanks for your support. Dad - Your countless hours behind the scenes with Consumed is such a great assistance to me. I would be lost without you. Mom - your prayers for 36 + years have guided me into the man I am today. I will never understand fully the love of a mother but your actions have demonstrated them to me. I love you both!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-87350299500884609862011-05-25T15:45:00.000-07:002011-05-25T15:58:46.160-07:00Summer can officially begin!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSjBbeGx129w7FO9KJKGJXWyA-b-FbvJnSF-1-3J6g7fRM0a-mMpi8PndnDFiT2_yFL1KYjWm8pqvqo60S1XlvQ9BdqKzZA4PFpM3fEvk61lh4yipZF5sFtx-CiqK_2GgiUIivXfbrS0E/s1600/Photo+on+2011-05-25+at+11.33.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSjBbeGx129w7FO9KJKGJXWyA-b-FbvJnSF-1-3J6g7fRM0a-mMpi8PndnDFiT2_yFL1KYjWm8pqvqo60S1XlvQ9BdqKzZA4PFpM3fEvk61lh4yipZF5sFtx-CiqK_2GgiUIivXfbrS0E/s320/Photo+on+2011-05-25+at+11.33.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610788876075608914" /></a><br /><br />This picture may mean nothing to you but to me...mmm mmm goodness! I grew up in Ohio eating stadium mustard. Since I left for college I have not been home all that often. So for me to throughly enjoy my BBQ goodness I am reliant upon my wonderful mother to ship me my personal stash of the world's finest mustard. I have grilled about four times so far this spring without my beloved mustard. I would squeeze and squeeze my empty bottle with nothing but air and dirty mustard water leaving the spout. But today all that changed when my precious condiments arrived in the mail. When I opened up the package it took me about 2 seconds to know what I would be eating this evening. <br /><br />So here I sit typing this blog post as my Johnsonville brats are cooking to my left. I will feast this evening! For those of you that are interested, stadium mustard ranks much higher than Banana Nut Cheerios in my love of foods. Stadium mustard actually cannot be compared to any cereal or other foods. It is an enhancer of all things grilled (minus steak). So in those comparisons I rank my beloved stadium mustard above all condiments. Higher than any BBQ sauce, fancy ketchup, or poser of a mustard that dares rival the tangy slash spicy goodness of this authentic brown mustard. <br /><br />I have been known to hide my beloved treasure when guests come over for BBQ's. I would secretly doctor up my brat while only putting inferior mustards on the table. I also used to not allow my girl's to use my supply. I felt as if they did not fully appreciate what their little taste buds were experiencing. Recently I have changed my ways. Gretchen has helped me see the complete selfishness of such acts (although I closely monitor the girls usage). So if you are over for a BBQ this summer, feel free to use what you need. My mom will keep me supplied and life will continue on smoothly. <br /><br />Time to eat!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-81387428640091171342011-04-22T06:48:00.000-07:002011-04-22T09:47:13.234-07:00Good Friday ThoughtsI am sitting in the emergency room with Mace right now. She will be fine. She is battling a little case of croup. Mace is seriously the best. Every time a nurse or doctor comes in the room she wins them over in about 3 seconds with that beautiful smile. But she is coughing and breathing heavy and sitting on a bed with a little heart monitor deal on her finger. That is tough for any dad to see. She looks over at me every now and again and says, with a raspy voice,"can we go home?" I tell her, "not yet sweety", and she pooches out her bottom lip and continues to watch tv. It can feel very helpless as a parent sitting in the ER knowing there is nothing really you can do to help your child.<br /><br />Just a few minutes ago I thought about my sister Penny and all the time she spent in the hospital the last few months of her life. When my dad visited her he told me several times how helpless he felt. As a dad, you are willing to do anything to protect your daughter and yet he couldn't do anything to stop that horrible disease from spreading.<br /><br />The thought of my dad and Penny led me to thinking about what this day represents. The day we set aside to remember and reflect Jesus' death and the ramifications of that death for us. Rightfully so, on Good Friday we think and reflect mostly on Jesus - His arrest, trial, flogging, sufferings, pain, anguish, and death. But this morning I gained a new perspective...a Father's perspective. I can't begin to imagine what our Heavenly Father felt when His only Son endured the most horrific of deaths. God selflessly sacrificed His Son (and Jesus was willing to do it), so we could be reconciled as His children. I wouldn't give the life of one of my daughters for anyone. But God...His love for humanity reached a level unparalleled by anyone or anything!<br /><br />Earlier this week I spoke to a World Religions Class at Normandale Community College here in Bloomington, MN. The topic I was asked to speak on was, "t<span style="font-style:italic;">he path of salvation in Christianity</span>". I decided to read and teach the class from Jesus' conversation with Nicodemus in the Gospel of John, chapter three. Eventually I came to a familiar verse:<br /><br />"<span style="font-style:italic;">For God so loved the world that He <span style="font-weight:bold;">GAVE<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span> His only Son. That whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life</span>."<br /><br />Today that familiar verse resonated with me in a different way. I am so appreciative of the work of God on humanity's behalf. Today I celebrate a new life given to me but at the cost of a Father allowing His Son to suffer. Happy Good Friday everyone! God truly loves you more than you can imagine!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-16405718159337436712011-02-07T12:50:00.000-08:002011-02-07T13:07:19.236-08:00One Year !?!I can't really believe it has been one year since I wrote <a href="http://jimphilmil.blogspot.com/2010_02_01_archive.html">THISPOST</a> (<span style="font-style:italic;">scroll down to the final one with the date February 7</span>). That ended up being the last time I saw Penny alive. I tried my best to get home later that week when her health failed rapidly but I was about 4 hours too late. This past week I have thought a lot about my time in Ohio those 8 days In many ways I saw Penny slowly exiting this life. There were great moments amongst the sorrow and aguish. I treasured every night Katie, mom & dad, Polly & Tim, and Dustin & I would sit in the living room with Penny. I am not sure she had any idea we were all there but we gained strength from each other just being together. A lot has changed this year but one thing has not - God is still as faithful today as He was 12 months ago. I praise Him for that.<br /><br />In other news...<br /><br />Life here in MN is grand. The girls continue to get bigger. As you have most likely read from <a href="http://gretchens-journal.blogspot.com/">Gretchen's Blog</a> our family did get a Wii. This does provide a source of entertainment and trash talking. Yes...I trash talk to my 9 and 8 year old in Wii tennis. Tori and I have quite the rivalry. She beats me occasionally and gets cocky. Then I have to silence her with my wicked forehand. <br /><br />I am in the midst of a p90x adventure which means I am doing things like kickboxing and yoga for the first time. That is a sight to see I am sure. I will spare you the before and after pics. Not sure if they will look all that different anyway. Gretchen enjoys mocking me as our fearless leader Tony Horton yells random statements like "it's p90x" and "bring it" about 75 times per video. <br /><br />Oh...in case you haven't noticed OSU's basketball team is #1 in the country and the only remaining undefeated team. They are an exciting team to watch. They really have it all - post play, outside shooting, veteran leadership, exchangeable defensive players, and a hunger to win. I am hoping for a deep run into the tournament.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-76426349209234959622010-11-22T19:28:00.000-08:002010-11-22T19:37:04.381-08:00Another Ponsi WritingI promise I will actually write something of my own soon and quit hosting a blog for Isabelle but I had to post this before I head to Ohio tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Isabelle came home from school on Friday and told Gretchen her essay for Drug Free Week was one of ten from all of 2nd grade selected for a prize. She was most happy for the silly band she won but Gretchen and I were shocked at what she wrote. The second graders were asked to write on a "Real Life Hero". This is what Isabelle wrote (<span style="font-style:italic;">I left the spelling and grammar exactly as she wrote it</span>):<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">MY HERO WRITING</span><br /><br />My hero is my ant. She died when I was in 1st grade. She helped me learn. She helped her daughter learn. She put people in front of her. My mom and dad were very sad so was my sister. My cousin got a bild a bear with my ant talking. my mom and dad are still sad. She would always be there for me i mis her to. If she was hear everybody would be happy. she will always be by my side and that is way I miss her so much. I wish she was hear. She could teach me some more. She was a ture hero!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-18892767415314502662010-11-12T12:40:00.001-08:002010-11-12T13:17:29.730-08:00My Little PonsiLast week we had parent-teacher conferences at the girls' school. I was pleased with the reports. They take after their mom when it comes to school. Now Ponsi (Isabelle) is quite the unique little girl. I love her for it. I never want her to change. At the conference Gretchen and I were privileged to get a glimpse inside of her thoughts with two of her writing projects. The first we found hanging just outside the classroom in the hallway. Here is what it looked like (disclaimer - cell phone pic):<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifX2a0zejqBFdQpJ478NNeHF5HCUH2pQFv0pTF4isr9mHGuYRCNEIbC8Q8qq8w0cEJxoO46mfBsn2zK3WFNY-MUx03HO9LOU_IzAMVYi1HtuDqj3vzyHx53peqU9OwyB9fhbQjO6rzJik/s1600/downsized_1101001651.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifX2a0zejqBFdQpJ478NNeHF5HCUH2pQFv0pTF4isr9mHGuYRCNEIbC8Q8qq8w0cEJxoO46mfBsn2zK3WFNY-MUx03HO9LOU_IzAMVYi1HtuDqj3vzyHx53peqU9OwyB9fhbQjO6rzJik/s320/downsized_1101001651.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5538771611067520690" /></a><br /><br />This is what it said (I will write it exactly as it reads - misspelled words and grammatical mistakes included):<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">My favorite sports are basketball and swimming. My favorite team is the Bukies. I like them because my dad is from Ohio and we cheer for the Bukies!</span><br /><br />The next peak into Isabelle's mind came when the teacher showed us her biography. Here is what she wrote (again...just as she wrote it):<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">My name is Isabelle Miller. I have brown eyes. I am funny. I have brown hair. I am small. I have two sisters named Tori and Macie. My dads name is Jame. My moms name is Grechen. My friends are Ramya and Emily. My other friend is Rachl. We like to talk. We like to draw. I like m and m's. I like ice cream. My favorite animal is a clown fish. I am in second grade. If I had 3 wishes I would wish for a car, a hundred Zuzu pets and a dog. I want to go to Disney World. My teacher is Mrs. Seaberg. I am a supper math star. I got my math test all right. I'm working on my math facts with my mom. My older sister is great reader. She is in 4th grade and a 5th grade level. My little sister is a littel fighter. she will get on the floor and kick you and kick you! My mom is right about journling. She can do it for a long time, I mean a long time she can do it for an hour. It is amazing how she can sit there for a long time. My dad works for Consumed Ministries and Normandale. We go to cook outs at our friends hose. Now you know about me and my family and my friends so we bye for now.</span><br /><br />This morning I asked Isabelle if I could post these things. At first she was reluctant but I told her there were people that would love to see what she is doing in school. So thanks for reading. As I say often Isabelle is my "little Gretchen". I didn't know my beautiful wife when she was younger but I am privileged to get a little glimpse into some of what she may have been like by raising her daughter!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-19118438499462100412010-10-18T13:31:00.001-07:002010-10-18T13:45:49.488-07:00October thoughts...Just a few things...<div><br /></div><div><b>Dead Sea Scrolls</b> - The Science Museum in St. Paul has had a Dead Sea Scrolls Exhibit for the last several weeks. There is only two weeks left. This past Friday evening Gretchen and I took the girls. I was very impressed with this exhibit and I strongly encourage you to go if at all possible. Tickets are a little pricey but if you can afford it or can locate cheaper tickets you should go. They have plenty of things to look at and it the exhibit includes a self guided audio tour for both children and adults. The exhibit became a spiritual experience for me and I found myself in awe of God once again as I looked at these ancient pieces of Scriptural texts. <div><br /></div><div><b>A conversation with Mace</b> - Macie turns four today. Of course <a href="http://gretchens-journal.blogspot.com/">Gretchen</a> <span><span></span></span>has some some pics on her <a href="http://gretchens-journal.blogspot.com/">blog</a>. Last night she was sitting on the couch with me while I was working on my laptop. She saw a picture of Penny from this summer's Relay for Life and this conversation took place:</div><div><br /></div><div>Macie: Look dad. It's Aunt Penny. Lydie's mom.</div><div>Me: Yes it is Mace. I really miss Aunt Penny.</div><div>Macie: But Aunt Penny died. Dad, when people die they do this (Macie lays down and remains very still).</div><div>Me: I know that is what her body does Macie. But we can be happy because we know that Penny's soul is now with Jesus.</div><div>Macie: But dad, we need to go get Aunt Penny and bring her back to her house.</div><div>Me: We can't do that Macie. She is with Jesus now and we just have to do our best to remember the times we had with Aunt Penny until we go to see Jesus and see her again.</div><div><br /></div><div>It always amazes me at the conversations you can have with kids. I am glad my little girl knows her Aunt Penny! </div></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-40321589968658023212010-09-01T06:25:00.001-07:002010-09-01T06:44:32.090-07:00September 1I haven't posted on the blog in a while so I thought I would share some random thoughts...<br /><br /><div><ul><li><i><b>FALL</b></i> - I have always loved fall. It is by far my favorite season. I know of some that get depressed in the fall because after fall comes winter and winter in MN can be depressing. But I am not going to be like that. I cherish cooler temps that kill off blood sucking misquitos. This morning I stepped outside and felt a refreshing cool breeze on my face. After several muggy weeks here I loved a slight chill in the air. Fall is also the time I celebrate my wedding anniversary with my beautiful wife. It has been 13 years in a few short weeks. I am amazed and still perplexed why she agreed to share her life with me but I will be eternally grateful.</li><li><i><b>REDS</b></i> - My Cincinnati Reds are 22 games above .500 and leading the NL Central by 7 games. For many of you that means nothing. But to a guy that loves baseball and hasn't seen his team in the playoffs since 19freakin95 I am jacked up. Chapman was brought up last night and looked amazing in a perfect 8th inning. They have an explosive offense and the pitching is solid. I would love to see a late October run.</li><li><i><b>FOOTBALL</b></i> - The Bucks start their 2010 campaign towards a National Championship tomorrow night. Enough said!</li><li><i><b>HEALIN</b></i>G - My heart continues to heal. Some days are better than others but I think about Penny more and more every day. But God is faithful...always is! I have a hope of seeing her again someday and I cling to that promise.</li><li><b><i>SOCCER</i></b> - I am not much of a soccer fan. I have grown to appreciate the sport the more I understand it though. But I am learning to love it because my daughter Tori loves it and that is enough for me. She had her first scrimmage last night and I love to watch her play. It is the highlight of my week. She is alive and happy on that field. I especially love it when she knocks other girls over going after the ball. I know that is probably wrong but for a guy who envisioned seeing a son play football one day a daughter roughing up other girls on the soccer field is as close as I will get. </li><li><b><i>NORMANDALE COMMUNITY COLLEGE</i></b> - Classes started last week and that means I am back on campus more. This is my 5th year of involvement and I really believe God is going to do amazing things here. There are many spiritually thirsty students walking the hallways. I hope to point them to the God that can quench those thirsts above and beyond what they can possibly comprehend. </li></ul><div><br /></div></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-36685639752556971892010-07-27T18:08:00.000-07:002010-07-27T18:15:24.023-07:00Connect Four FactI admit that Gretchen is much smarter than I am. I frequently ask her for grammar and spelling tips. She breezed through school while I struggled immensely at times. But there is one area I master her in - CONNECT FOUR (abs). Not that we play connect four all that often but there is a fact I would like to share with you - In 13 years of marriage she has NEVER (abs), ZERO (abs) beat me. <br /><br />This evening I saw the girls had connect four out. I played Tori & Isabelle a few times and then offered them a bet. I told them that I would play mama connect four and if she beat me just once in five games I would buy them a frosty. But if mama didn't beat me one time in five games then they would have to accept the terms of my bet. Of course they accepted this offer. Why wouldn't they? What are the odds that their father, who isn't as smart as their mama, could beat their mama five times in a row. Well after five games lets just say I will be expecting a back rub from Ponsi and pancakes from Tori on Thursday morning when Gretchen goes to work. <br /><br />I officially end my gloating!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-3607082513788999902010-06-22T18:55:00.001-07:002010-06-22T19:03:02.201-07:00Happy Birthday Penny<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmkhPeW73EhlJbRBiZsbMRAg8AyRa0mUQpSvJqYdync4I4pp5BPoCP038F59X2cdH8ugF8M9Q_VmEaQ4M5Q3zXorEZ5Ju0oXRM5cTMJL-DBa62k2JZXpEH3UfBuxYce9XyrjU-u_1fexg/s1600/36003_403824340985_727845985_4878385_5566311_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 269px; height: 226px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmkhPeW73EhlJbRBiZsbMRAg8AyRa0mUQpSvJqYdync4I4pp5BPoCP038F59X2cdH8ugF8M9Q_VmEaQ4M5Q3zXorEZ5Ju0oXRM5cTMJL-DBa62k2JZXpEH3UfBuxYce9XyrjU-u_1fexg/s320/36003_403824340985_727845985_4878385_5566311_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5485782112514614866" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Penny Miller Hoffman - Born June 23, 1970</span><br /><br />Penny should have been 40 but for reasons beyond my ability to clearly communicate that did not happen. With all of the sadness from her death I want to celebrate the life she was given on her birthday. Penny touched many people's lives because she lived a steady diet of putting others ahead of herself. The world is truly a better place because Penny was born. Happy Birthday Penny! We miss you!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-36011792235572826632010-06-07T18:59:00.000-07:002010-06-07T19:28:38.083-07:00Pretty blessedToday I turned 35. I am officially the age where in most professional sports you are either retired or extremely old. But I still feel good and last I checked I wasn't competing against the world's greatest athletes. So I think I will be OK. I learned today that I share the exact birth date of Allen Iverson - June 7, 1975. I also share a birthday with Prince. That may explain my latest urge to get covered in tattoos, buy some heeled boots, and dress in all purple. <br /><br />Today was a different birthday. Since Penny's birthday is in 2 weeks it just felt wrong to even contemplate celebrating. I know that is wrong and if Penny were here she would tell me that is stupid but it was hard to get past that feeling. But this morning I listened to an old voicemail from her and just imagined she was saying "Happy Birthday" on it. I then read many wall posts on facebook from people all over the world and was amazed at this life I was given by God. I have lived in three different states and been all over the U.S. and other countries and my life has been shaped by so many amazing friends. I spoke on the phone with the woman who brought me into the world this afternoon. I hung up the phone and was so incredibly thankful for the family and home I was raised in. And tonight I ate a meal with one special women and three beautiful girls. We later sat on a wooden swing. I was sipping coffee and the girls were back and forth from the swing to the water (looking at fish and ducks) and I again was overwhelmed at God's goodness to me. <br /><br />Today the song"Tower" by <a href="http://www.bradkilmanmusic.com/">Brad Kilman</a> continues to play itself in mind (and on my guitar before dinner). I share these words on this post because it is so true of my life. The pattern of my life is I wait for God and He hears my cry...over and over and over again. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Jesus, Jesus<br />You are my tower Lord<br />Jesus, Jesus the rock I stand on<br />Jesus, Jesus there is no other name like Your name<br />And I will wait for You<br /><br />The Lord is good to those<br />To those who wait for Him<br />Oh I will be still and I will know that You are God<br />Your loving kindnesses<br />Indeed they never cease<br />Your compassions never fail<br />They never fail<br /><br />My story simple told<br />I waited for the Lord<br />And He heard my cry </span>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-31949171160760182032010-05-31T09:03:00.000-07:002010-05-31T09:04:19.618-07:00Memorial DayI have always loved Memorial Day. In recent years my family has started a new tradition where we head to Fort Snelling (National Cemetery in the Twin Cities) sometime after lunch. It is our way of reminding Gretchen & me of the sacrifices many men & women made in order for us to enjoy the freedoms we possess. It is also a way of tangibly showing our girls this same sacrifice. We hope the lasting impressions of seeing families stooped over graves and women walking around the cemetery with tears in their eyes will embed in the girls mind and hearts that the life they live didn’t happen without overcoming difficulties in our nation and world. <br /><br />Before we moved to MN we would hit up the Abington Township parade in PA on Memorial Day…usually with our good friends the Chapmans. Tara & Gretchen are parade freaks so every year they would have it all planned out. Some time later in the day we would all reconvene for a Memorial Day cookout. There was always plenty of food!<br /><br />But before even that, I had another Memorial Day tradition that I will always cherish. Each Memorial Day for about 5-6 years (High School & into college) my old man and I would drive down to Gallipolis, OH on Memorial Day. Gallipolis is a town in southern OH on the Ohio River. This is the town my parents grew up. My dad and I would head down there and visit whatever family was still around (depending on the year). We would grab a milkshake and coney dog (usually at the Shake Shoppe) and head to the two graveyards where my mom & dad’s parents and other families were buried. <br /><br />My mom’s families are buried in a graveyard right outside of Gallipolis named Mound Hill. Mound Hill sits up on this hill and from the top of the cemetery you can see down into the town and the beautiful Ohio River. It is a gorgeous view. My dad’s family is buried in a little cemetery 15-20 miles outside of Gallipolis in a little place called German Ridge. Even to this day I couldn’t find the place if I had to because it sits out in the woods away from towns, paved roads, and people. Up on the hillside sits a little Lutheran church and 100 or so graves. Two of these graves are my Grandpa & Grandma Miller. German Ridge is quite possibly the most surreal place I know. There is this since of peace and calm there. It is as if nature around the place knows to respect those that lie there and glorify the God that created these people and gave them life. <br /><br />I have many fond memories of the trips my dad and I made those Memorial Days. One year, before my legal driving age, I remember my dad asking me if I wanted to drive his truck on some of those back roads. I thought he was kidding until he handed me the keys. He gave me a quick lesson on using a clutch and then off we went. The poor truck took a beating that day…shaking and jerking all over the road as I attempted to move from 1st to 2nd gear, etc., etc. There were many more wonderful memories but the ones I remember most were the times of silence at German Ridge. I always remember standing there observing my dad as he stood over the tombstone of his father and mother. I would wonder what thoughts were running through his head. Was he thinking of memories or missed opportunities? Did he wish they were not lying in the ground but standing next to him? I always felt horrible for my dad in those moments. I had no idea what to say or how to respond. So I would stand there in silence until it was time to go. <br /><br />Honestly, I would give anything today to be in Ohio right now. I wish I could get into the car with my dad once more and take a trip to Gallipolis. We could stop in and see my uncle (his brother), grab a shake and a hot dog, visit the graves on Mound Hill, and then take the winding roads to German Ridge. If we went this year there would be one more grave to visit. My dad and I could stand there once again. Maybe this year it wouldn’t be in silence. We could reminisce about the daughter he loved and the sister I cherished. We could laugh, possible cry, and allow the peace and tranquility of that beautiful place to nourish our aching hearts. We could look into the blue sky and try to remember that the God that created everything & everyone around us was still in control. That life doesn’t end at a place like German Ridge, it really just begins. We could remember that although our hearts break we will see them all once again. That is the hope of Memorial Day to me. A day not just to remember the past, but to appreciate the future we have because of the death & resurrection of the greatest man to ever walk this earth. He is alive and so we shall be forevermore!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-53707520986831120312010-05-24T19:49:00.000-07:002010-05-24T19:52:51.224-07:00Church Questions<span style="font-style:italic;">What if I hang out with other Christ Followers regularly throughout my week? Is this church? Do I have to go "to" something called "church" for it to count?</span><br /><br />This was a question posed by a friend of mine from my church. If you want to read my answer you can find it <a href="http://thegardencommunities.org/">HERE</a>. Scroll down and click on the blog linkJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-69835023565141253952010-05-19T07:49:00.001-07:002010-05-19T08:23:05.195-07:00A few updatesI am currently sitting in Methodist Hospital in the Twin Cities. My friend Dan is having his gallbladder removed today. This is the first time I have been in a hospital since I left Columbus in February following Penny's funeral. When I walked in here today it was kind of odd. I am in a different state and a different hospital than the one Penny spent much of her time in but I had this sense like Penny was here or something. The sad reality is that every time I went home to see Penny from November - February she was in the hospital. So I guess when I walked through the front doors today it was like Pavlov's Dog or something and the sounds, smells, etc. made me think of Penny. I felt as if I should be able to take the elevator up to the 3rd floor and walk in her room to see her. I wish that were true! <br /><br />In other news I do sense this freshness about my work with Consumed though. I have said it often but I feel as if God is blowing fresh wind into our sails. I have interviewed one person for an internship through Consumed and she seems very interested. I have also talked with another guy that is married and they are considering as well. I am trying to plan a few trips in the fall to speak, connect with people, etc. So that is really good. I feel more alive when I am doing what I feel God has created me to do.<br /><br />From mid June - mid July I will put my coaching hat back on and be an instructor for Hoopology University again. Hoopology is opening a branch in Bloomington so I will be co-leading that. I enjoy teaching basketball so this allows me to scratch that itch without doing it full-time throughout a regular season. If you have kids in Bloomington or surrounding areas, check out what is offered at the <a href="http://www.hoopologyu.com">Hoopology University website</a>.<br /><br />This summer my family will embark on some new adventures. For Christmas this year we bought a tent for the girls with the promise of a few camping trips this summer. It is now time to cash in on that promise (the girls ask often when we are going to go). We will probably head to Mount Rushmore or Lake Superior for a long weekend but I need some suggestions for places closer to the cities. Something we could do for one night. If you have some ideas, let me know.<br /><br />I think that is it for now. I have another post brewing in my head which will be entitled "Reasons to Go". If any of you listen to the Jim Rome radio show you will understand what the "reasons to go" phrase is in reference to.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-22405668929057922192010-04-12T13:28:00.000-07:002010-04-12T14:00:55.210-07:00A new kind of anniversaryI remember when Gretchen and I started dating - October 20, 1995. We walked along the streets of Scranton, PA on that night and we sat down on a bench in the city square. It was a Sunday Evening and everything was peaceful. I asked if she was interested in just dating each other and no one else. We had been on several dates and I had no desire to see anyone else. She told me that night that she felt the same way and so we began a relationship that continues to this day. The next month, November 20, 1995 was the week of Thanksgiving. She came to my house in Columbus for the first time and on our "one month anniversary" I gave her this little stuffed animal (it was an elephant) and told her "Happy One Month Anniversary". I think the "month anniversary" celebrations lasted until about month six. We got married on September 20, 1997 and the "month anniversary" celebrations began again. Then came kids and the "month anniversaries" started all over again. People would ask us how old each girl was and until about 18 months we would say, "six months" or "9 months" or "13 months". <br /><br />Now I am in a "month-remembrance" nightmare. It has been 2 months since Penny's death today. The last two weeks have really been hard for me. I'm not exactly sure why these weeks have been so much worse than the other ones. I think the reality of what happened is really settling in. Since I live in MN and the rest of my family are in Ohio I don't get to speak out loud about Penny very often. Her memories are locked inside my brain and I can't share them with those around me. Outside of Gretchen, no one here knew Penny even remotely. So I think my grief is really starting to catch me. I miss her so bad. I have no idea what to do our how to really process everything at this point. Many times it just seems like a really bad dream that I am going to wake up from and I can call Penny's cell phone number and she will answer. <br /><br />So in honor of Penny's memory I want to share a story about her in this post. It may just be for me but I need to write. My freshmen year of college Penny and I were a part of the same church in PA. The church we attended had this little tradition around Thanksgiving time. The Sunday evening before Thanksgiving they had a "Thanksgiving Service". The service always consisted of singing and testimonies of thanksgiving from people in the church. Typically the church was careful to ask people from all different parts of life - single, married, old, young, male, female...you get my drift. Well this particular year I was sitting next to Penny in the service and we listened to all of the testimonies. One testimony was given from a young single guy. He was probably in his late teens or early 20's. I don't know what he was asked to share on but I think he went off script. Actually I know he went off script because there is no way he would have been cleared to speak if they knew what he was going to say. He began by saying he has been reading the Song of Songs in the Old Testament. Immediately people became curious, some puzzled, and some nervous about what would follow. (For those of you that aren't familiar with Song of Songs it is a pretty explicit love story found in the Old Testament of the Bible). So this guy began to say he was thankful for the wife he soon would have. He said he couldn't wait, like the guy in the narrative, to rest his head on the breasts of his wife in times of stress. He then continued on to speak like this for about 3-4 very uncomfortable minutes. Now typically my response in a situation like this would have been what Penny did (since I have the self-control of a jr. high boy when funny things like that are being said in public). Penny began to chuckle to herself as he talked. This slight chuckle went to a full body convulsion right there in the pew. It was like if someone accidentally touched her she would have erupted in extremely loud laughter. Worried she was being a distraction, she literally fell to her knees in the middle of the row, convulsing - hand over her mouth - tears watering - straining to keep it all inside. I never saw Penny trying so hard not to lose control of her emotions. Of course being the caring brother I was, I did everything I could to make her lose control. I was whispering things like "boobies" in her ear and sneakily acting out some of the verbal descriptions our testimony giver was sharing. But all the while Penny held on until the next song was sung when through music, she could rid herself of the silliness and become composed again. <br /><br />Penny was always joyous. She very rarely allowed things in life to overwhelm her. She could always laugh and her smile would cause you to remember that most of life's problems aren't worth fretting over. <br /><br />I love you Penny and miss you greatly today.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-46066707762483358672010-04-07T13:40:00.000-07:002010-04-07T13:56:48.913-07:00Church TerminologyThose of you who know me well may want to stop reading right now because I am about to embark on a familiar rant. I have become increasingly agitated the last few weeks regarding the general terminology most followers of Jesus use regarding church. Let me explain…<br /><br />This past Sunday was Easter. I decided to drive over to Normandale Lake in the morning and spend some time reading, praying, etc. When I turned on the car the radio was set to an AM Sports Radio Station (surprise, surprise). I switched over to FM and the local Christian Radio Station came on. Now to be perfectly honest I don’t listen to Christian Radio all that much. But Gretchen likes to listen to it so she must have turned it there the last time she was in the car. I immediately became interested in the dialogue between the two disc jockeys and their callers. People were calling in to tell the disc jockeys “who they invited to church for Easter Sunday.” Phone call after phone call went something like this…<br /><br />Disc Jockey: “You’re on the air with …..”<br />Caller: “It is great to be with you.”<br />Disc Jockey: “So who did you invite to church for Easter?”<br />Caller: “I invited my co-worker.”<br />Disc Jockey: “Do you think he will come to church with you?”<br />Caller: “I’m not sure. But I hope so. I think coming to church would be great for him.”<br />Disc Jockey: “Well let’s hope he does go to your church on Sunday and hears a powerful sermon. Next caller.”<br /><br />Conversations similar to this one happened over and over again during my short ride to the lake and there I was on Easter morning becoming more and more angry. Now those of you that know me already know why I am being so grumpy while others of you are wondering what the big deal is. You’re probably thinking, “Why is Jamie so upset that people are inviting their friends and family to church on Easter Sunday?” <br /><br />The reason I am so agitated is this kind of talk has been going on for so long that the church in the west has lost sight of what, or I should probably say, WHO the church actually is. Let me illustrate…<br /><br />By asking the following question, what are you implying the church is:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Where do you go to church? Or… Where’s your church?</span> To me you are implying the <span style="font-style:italic;">church is a building</span>. The person asking where you go to church wants to know where is the location of the building you go to on Sundays.<br /><br />Or what about this question:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">What time is church?</span> Based on this question the church has become a service that happens once or twice a week. Or to say it more plainly – <span style="font-style:italic;">church has been boiled down to an event you attend</span>.<br /><br />I was more agitated than usual on Sunday as I listened to the dialogue on the Christian Radio because of a conversation I had with a friend the previous morning. A new friend of mine is struggling with some issues in his life and asked if I would spend some time with him to assist him in overcoming these struggles. I wanted to find out what role his church and pastoral leadership were having in his life so I began to ask questions about his church. The more we talked the more evident it became that my friend believes church is simply a building or an event to attend. I asked him what he though church actually was. Here was his response:<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">“Church is a place we go to worship God.” </span><br /><br />As soon as he finished this sentence I became very sympathetic towards him. Here is this guy trying to conquer intense struggles in his life and the role of church in his life is an hour a week where he sits in a pew and participates in a service. When the service is over he gets up, walks out of the building, and has nothing to do with “church” until the following Sunday. <br /><br />I don’t blame my friend for thinking this way. Why wouldn’t he believe that church was a place to go to worship God when that is all he has been taught in his young Christian experience? Even Webster defines church in this way:<br /><br />1. a building for public Christian worship. 2. a religious service in such a building.<br /><br />This kind of thinking not only falls short of what was originally meant by “church” in the Bible, I believe it is actually harmful and keeps the church from becoming all of what Christ intended us to be. <br /><br />The Greek word for church found in the New Testament is “ekklesia”. This word is used roughly 115 times in the New Testament. In our English translations the word “church” is used 113 out of the 115 times we find ekklesia. The other times ekklesia is used it is translated into English as “assembly”. <br /><br />The word “ekklesia” is an interesting Greek word. The root word for which we find ekklesia means to “call out”. In classical Greek ekklesia was used to mean “an assembly of citizens summoned by the crier, the legislative assembly” (Cooper B. Abrams). To put it more plainly, these were men & women called out to serve the legislative assembly. <br /><br />So when ekklesia is used in the New Testament it is meant to speak of people “called out” to live a life of following Jesus. What I believe the New Testament is saying is that <span style="font-weight:bold;">the church is PEOPLE</span> (Abs). That is why Paul wrote this in his first letter to the Corinthians:<br /><br />“To the church of God that is in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints together with all those who in every place call upon the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, both their Lord and ours…” (1 Corinthians 1:2)<br /><br />or in 1 Thessalonians 1:1…<br /><br />“Paul, Silvanus, and Timothy, To the church of the Thessalonians in God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ: Grace to you and peace.”<br /><br />Paul isn’t writing to a building or to a service. He is writing to people that have been “called out” of an ordinary existence and into a relationship with God that impacts every area of life. Paul is writing to an assembled group of people in Corinth or in Thessalonica that are striving to live life with purpose and meaning. And this meaning & purpose is to love God with all of the heart, soul, and mind and to love their neighbor as themselves. <br /><br />For us to truly and effectively live this kind of purpose-filled life we need the church (PEOPLE – CALLED OUT ONES) to assist us in the journey. We can’t do that by attending a service once a week in a building. We need to assemble ourselves daily and push each other to live a life worthy of the amazing calling put on our lives. That is why the early church (the people) did this:<br /><br />46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people…” – Acts 2<br /><br />The more we communicate that church is a building, or a service, or programs, etc. the farther away from the true identity of “church” we become. Church is you and I! When I sit down with a brother in Christ at a coffee shop church is happening. When I am at home with my family, church is going on. Jesus said that “He would build His church and the gates of hell would not prevail against it.” Do we really think Jesus meant that a lot of buildings with amazing programs would be established? The church is Jesus talked about is more and more people accepting His offer of eternal life and living a “called out” life by bringing the realities of the Kingdom & will of God to earth as it is in Heaven. <br /><br />So no matter what facility your church uses to meet in or what time your church gathers, these are just tools and functions used to assist you in living out your purpose as a called out one. Please do not limit your participation with your church to a location or time of the week. You need them and they need you. Become the church Jesus intended for you to be. Rather than only trying to bring your co-workers, family members, and neighbor to “church” where they can hear about Jesus in a service, live in such a way that the church (a.k.a – you) is living a called-out life in your home, workplace, and neighborhood. Take and embody the person of Christ in those environments so the “church” can grow as more and more people accept God’s gift of eternal life and live a called-out life. <br /><br />If you are still reading, thanks for paying attention to my rant. As you can tell this subject is a valuable one for me and I barely scratched the surface. If you have questions or want to dialogue, lets get together soon.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-19295120300914825792010-04-02T11:58:00.000-07:002010-04-03T07:15:49.057-07:00MLB Picks 2010In light of the upcoming MLB (Major League Baseball Abs) Season that begins on Sunday I want to make my annual pre-season picks. I know that last year <a href="http://chuckm2272ramblings.blogspot.com/">Chuck</a> and <a href="http://theamazingwolverine.blogspot.com/">Matt</a> made picks as well so I welcome them to do it again. If any of you other bloggers or blog followers want to make picks please do so. You can either make them here in the comment section or post them on your own blog. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">2010 Predictions:</span><br /><br />AL East – New York Yankees<br />AL Central – MN Twins<br />AL West – Seattle Mariners (My slight upset pick over the Angels – their pitching will be solid. The question is can they produce enough runs?)<br />Wild Card – Tampa Bay Rays<br /><br />NL East – Philadelphia Phillies<br />NL Central – St. Louis Cardinals<br />NL West – Los Angeles Dodgers <br />NL Wildcard – Cincinnati Reds (t<span style="font-style:italic;">he 15 year playoff draught comes to an end this year!</span>)<br /><br />World Series – St. Louis Cardinals vs. New York Yankees<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">World Series Champs</span> – New York Yankees <br /><br />No matter what your thoughts are on the Yankees, I think we are set for a repeat. The Yanks pitching is strong again with Sabathia, Burnett, and Pettite leading the way. The bullpen is better than last year with Joba back in the setup role. They lose Matsui and Damon but the addition of Granderson and Nick Johnson is huge. I think Cano will have a monster year batting 5th behind Teixeriia and Arod. <br /><br />This year I will enjoy some games at the new Target Field with Chuck. Although my team (the Reds) is far from me I will enjoy witnessing baseball outside again as opposed to the generic atmosphere of the Metrodome. <br /><br />Opening Day is one of my favorite sports days of the year. Enjoy it on Monday!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-88151126286156151872010-03-26T13:06:00.000-07:002010-03-26T14:33:52.426-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE8UN9CyYU_k998OPkmVs8HKLm9SP8JpaE3c89Z-L1qTe2TQEuPxvkPlQ353kCDhe1BTZTMlPz-nwhZ1M9_iUgMXiMy8QNR1LIPWg802G2G6YcW1K2mGsRi6DiYBc5G_DwYxK80QzvvgY/s1600/24412_10150162733430788_880760787_11756388_4374187_n.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE8UN9CyYU_k998OPkmVs8HKLm9SP8JpaE3c89Z-L1qTe2TQEuPxvkPlQ353kCDhe1BTZTMlPz-nwhZ1M9_iUgMXiMy8QNR1LIPWg802G2G6YcW1K2mGsRi6DiYBc5G_DwYxK80QzvvgY/s320/24412_10150162733430788_880760787_11756388_4374187_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453058580135665906" /></a><br /><br />During our trip to Germany we spent some time in Berlin with our friend Kristi Walker and her co-workers there. Joining Kristi were two college students on spring break that were possibly interested in relocating to Berlin following their formal education. Oh yeah...they were dating. At lunch one day Kristi commented to these young lovebirds what an amazing opportunity it was for them to travel and experience Europe together. Based on their response, I'm not sure how much of an "amazing opportunity" they believed they were experiencing. I don't blame them for this...they are young. But as I reflected on Kristi's words I looked over at this beautiful person next to me at the table (no...not you Eric) and the weight of what she said hit me like a sledgehammer. <br /><br />I have the opportunity to travel with what I do for a living. But many times I go away and Gretchen is left behind to take care of things on the home front. And while I'm home we don't have many opportunities to go out, just the two of us, and enjoy each other's company without the kids, pressures of life, and various other responsibilities. We try to create space once a month to go out together but that ends up being more like once every two months or once every six weeks if we are lucky. So to travel with Gretchen to Europe and experience the beauty of both the landscape and people there with Gretchen was well...an "amazing opportunity". <br /><br />If you know Gretchen and I fairly well you know we are pretty private with expressing our love for each other and neither of us long for the spotlight. But for this post, I want to break the mold and say some things about my traveling companion to Germany (no, not you again Eric). I love Gretchen for so many reasons but I have always said that one of the biggest reasons I love her is for her genuine compassion and gift of mercy towards other people. It was one of the first things I noticed about her in college and this characteristic continues to grow and flourish in her today. I saw her use this gift in Germany and I know that people there who were fortunate enough to meet her will never be the same. I saw her kneel and pray with a girl troubled in spirit when spoken languages caused a divide. But Gretchen's act of compassion crossed those language barriers and this troubled teen saw a heart of love. I listened to Gretchen explain to me that one of her greatest purposes for the trip was to come alongside of people that may be a little lonely and give them her undivided love and attention. She willingly laid down some of her own priorities and hopes for the trip to see those around her experience a sense of companionship. She entered into the worlds of four 9 year-olds at a basketball clinic and became more excited about their success on the basketball court than they did. She put her arm around a wife struggling with her husband's soon-to-be deployment to Afghanistan and cried with her...feeling her pain and carrying the burden as if it was me being shipped out. <br /><br />Gretchen is one of the greatest examples of Jesus I could ever know. I know no other person that as a lifestyle models Jesus life of servanthood. She is great because she always puts herself last. She is great because she is a servant of all. She models that on not just a trip to Germany, but in our home, our church, and those blessed to call her "friend". <br /><br />Thanks for traveling with me Gretchen and when you can't...thanks for being excited for me when I go alone. But know this - my experiences without you are only half (at best) of what they could and should be. I'm blessed to share life with you and I will forever be grateful to God for giving you to me as a wife. I look forward to many more trips together but I will always cherish the memories we made in Germany. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh50L0dVbIcOl77DKr0Mz5VyQUoWaC6SmZvDCg3qajyq3Qm9EH_I8ktA2B2m-ri5L5m10r9D4xB7rGuLVgWGBNS6feQ6op1H4rXaFefgRej3YRpPb7xVize0isH6iVvo2aG3N0kwpRCe5w/s1600/24412_10150162642380788_880760787_11754927_6218081_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh50L0dVbIcOl77DKr0Mz5VyQUoWaC6SmZvDCg3qajyq3Qm9EH_I8ktA2B2m-ri5L5m10r9D4xB7rGuLVgWGBNS6feQ6op1H4rXaFefgRej3YRpPb7xVize0isH6iVvo2aG3N0kwpRCe5w/s320/24412_10150162642380788_880760787_11754927_6218081_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453058250799432690" /></a> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6GfSTZZXPnHa2sSd9Mdz8GldAscuMFdNFhyFWfKZY7zv3aWvUOMaKyeedvQb-g-QPAMxOQONbwLIkEWMG7jjuq9K2KFxdLCAO6at8fQP8b2buVA8J2Gy3pB7A61PPpMMJxr6PYHoamBM/s1600/24412_10150162643515788_880760787_11754969_468336_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6GfSTZZXPnHa2sSd9Mdz8GldAscuMFdNFhyFWfKZY7zv3aWvUOMaKyeedvQb-g-QPAMxOQONbwLIkEWMG7jjuq9K2KFxdLCAO6at8fQP8b2buVA8J2Gy3pB7A61PPpMMJxr6PYHoamBM/s320/24412_10150162643515788_880760787_11754969_468336_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453058420423927346" /></a>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-68971564819618097722010-03-12T05:52:00.000-08:002010-03-12T06:03:35.918-08:00Heading to GermanyIt has been one month today since Penny lost her battle with cancer. This last month has been one of ups and downs, hope and honestly a little despair. But I am thankful to God for being right here with my family and me. He has made Himself known through His children. I can't tell you how encouraged I am by the great friends I'm blessed to know.<br /><br />Gretchen and I are leaving for Germany today. We are hooking up with our friends Eric & Lisa Beavers in Atlanta and then flying together to Dusseldorf. So when most of you are putting your heads down for a good night's rest, it will be 8:00 am in Germany (hello jet lag). We will also be joined in Germany by our friend Dan Occhiogrosso from Ball for Lives. The five of us will travel to Dorsten, Berlin, and Vilseck joining in with the churches of our American friends Rob Stearns, Kristi Walker, and Duane & Daylin Beach. Lisa & Eric will be doing some music (concerts, church stuff), Gretchen will be teaching kids, and Occhy and I will be speaking. <br /><br />I think this trip will be good for me in many ways. I am looking forward to traveling to Europe with Gretchen. She has never been outside of North America. I look forward to seeing new friends I met during my first trip to Germany in 2008. I anticipate great times with old friends as well. <br /><br />We will try to post pictures and updates on our <a href="http://www.consumedministries.com">Consumed Ministries</a>website so feel free to check things our there. If not, I'm sure Gretchen and I will have pictures on our blog.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-44860206485471773422010-02-23T05:48:00.001-08:002010-02-23T05:52:44.316-08:00Happy Birthday Tori!!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiOhyWiPWVHe3wF2vjB4sga7KRkJQCbDQzn5O1htjJ8WZgHm9nKR0jjCnuvjhjwKyAV65LoZmD1C8Npm1ANBVJ_ksI2rdo2i8nQpGAPijBSMnK4b-gV3Tp49J3ARifoBRG8zUvyfD7Xxg/s1600-h/n880760787_5893803_5842.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiOhyWiPWVHe3wF2vjB4sga7KRkJQCbDQzn5O1htjJ8WZgHm9nKR0jjCnuvjhjwKyAV65LoZmD1C8Npm1ANBVJ_ksI2rdo2i8nQpGAPijBSMnK4b-gV3Tp49J3ARifoBRG8zUvyfD7Xxg/s320/n880760787_5893803_5842.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5441435646507742066" /></a><br /><br />HAPPY 9TH BIRTHDAY TORI! You are an amazing girl and against my will will soon become a wonderful woman! (of course <a href="http://gretchens-journal.blogspot.com/">Gretchen</a> will have a blog about Tori soon. I am relegated to pictures and simple birthday greetings so I don't steal my wife's thunder)Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-23049652795642813892010-02-20T13:28:00.000-08:002010-02-20T14:19:15.049-08:00Writing is therapeutic for me so please indulge me a little. I have Matthew West's "Save a place for me" and Chris Tomlin's "I will arise" on repeat and I need to get some thoughts out of my head. Who would have thought when I started this blog to write on "whatever" I wanted to that one day I would be expressing my feelings about someone I loved so much going to Jesus way to early! I am back in MN now and I have had quite the week to say the least. This may be kind of lengthy but I need to write about the week a little. This is more for me than you but if it does something for you I'm glad. <br /><br />On Thursday evening, February 18, I received a text from my sister Katie that Penny's oxygen level was in the 70's (normal is 95-98) and her hear rate was plummeting. I jumped online to look for flights but the last one out of Minneapolis to Columbus was at 7:25 pm. At the time of Katie's text it was 6:20 pm. I knew there was no way I could make it. I felt trapped with miles separating me from my sister and family as Penny began her voyage to the next home. Thursday night was agonizing to say the least. Dustin, my parents, Polly, and Katie were all there to assist Penny during this horrific time and there I sat 800 miles away unable to do anything but pray. I received text messages and picture messages throughout the evening. I know my family was trying to keep me involved but with every message I was reminded once again that I wasn't there. It was the most frustrated and helpless I have ever felt in my entire life. I laid down in bed around 1:00 am and decided to try and get some rest. At 3:15 my cell phone rang and Polly was on the other end. She told me Jenni (a friend of my family that is a nurse and walked with my family ever step of the way throughout Penny's battle) thinks the time is getting very near and that I should speak to Penny on the phone...basically to say my last words to her. I had no time to think. Polly just said, "Here she is" and there I was in this moment I never wanted to happen. I struggled to get my words out as I heard Penny moaning and in pain but I told Penny that I loved her. I told her that she fought so bravely and I was so proud to call her my sister. I told her that I loved her. I quoted Psalm 23, "Yeah, though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil." I told her to go to Jesus and that I would see her soon. The next thing I knew Polly was on the line. When Polly said goodbye I tossed the phone on the ground and cried like I have never cried before. Gretchen put her head against mine and cried with me. Tori woke up and came over to hug my arm as well. <br /><br />I decided to buy the earliest ticket I could get on Friday morning so I could get home to my family. So at 4:00 am I bought a ticket that would put me in Columbus by 12:15 pm on Friday. At 6:30 central time Katie called as I was getting ready to go to the airport. When I said hello, I heard these words - "She's gone". I couldn't wrap my mind around the finality of those words. Honestly, I am still trying to grasp the fact that I will never see Penny again here on this earth. <br /><br />I finished getting ready and went to the airport. I texted and called as many people as I could think of regarding the news of Penny's death. I left MN with a sick feeling in my stomach. DJ (Katies' husband) picked me up from the airport and drove me straight to the funeral home. I wanted the chance to see Penny before the calling hours. We arrived at the home and a kind lady escorted me to the room where Penny's body lay. I took one look at Penny and knew that she was long gone. It was a indescribable feeling to look at Penny's body and know that it was empty. It was incredibly difficult to stand there and see her but in the same way a little hope crept into my soul - Penny was in the presence of Jesus!<br /><br />From the funeral home where Penny was DJ took me to another funeral home where Dustin and my dad were. They, along with Rick (assistant pastor at Penny's church), were meeting with the funeral home guy to make plans for the calling hours, funeral, and burial. I walked into the funeral home and Dustin & my dad were trying to pick out a casket. I walked over to my dad and gave him an emotionally charged hug. I gave Dustin a hug as well and his sadness was just weighing heavy on him. I can't imagine what he is going through! Picking out coffins, thank you notes, verses for the funeral bulletin, etc. are needed details but wow - it is a real sucky job. I am glad I was able to get there in time to help out with the process.<br /><br />Monday was the day of the calling hours and funeral. I can't say how thankful I am to all who came. We had people that drove from all over the place - Indiana, southern Ohio, Pennsylvania, Wyoming, Iowa, etc. What made this more amazing is that it was snowing like crazy all day. So much so that interstate 71 was closed down for a while. As more and more people showed up I seemed to gain this strength and peace as the day wore on. Penny's funeral was a difficult celebration (if that's possible). Gretchen sang wonderfully and all that participated (Glenn Amos, Rick Hanna, Bill Abernathy Sr., Bill Abernathy Jr., Dustin, Dad, Julie & Heidi, and me) were able to honor Penny by giving God the glory He deserves. <br /><br />The hardest part of the day came during the calling hours. Little Abraham (Penny & Dustin's 18 month old son) came walking up to the casket. He put his arms up so I picked him up. When he saw Penny he stretched out his arms towards her and began grunting. He was trying to tell me that he wanted his mama. Almost anyone that saw this take place was moved to tears.<br /><br />I could continue on with the week - burying Penny in southern Ohio at German Ridge Cemetery, my other sister Polly slipping on the ice at the cemetery and breaking her ankle in two places, saying goodbye to family and heading back to MN, etc.- but I think I will stop here. I said writing is therapeutic for me and I feel a little better now. <br /><br />I know Penny is with Jesus. I know the pain cancer caused is over for her. I know she understands eternity better now. I know she is fine. I am truly happy for her. BUT I am here without her. I don't understand eternity. I feel the pain of loss. My heart aches and tears come to my eyes randomly throughout the day as I think of her. Grieving will happen for a good, long while. I take solace in the fact that Jesus cares. He experienced loss and pain. We know that when He wept over Lazarus' death. So I will rest in Him. I will cling to the promises of His words. I'll cherish the memories I have in my heart of Penny. I will try to live a life like she did - fully alive, putting others ahead of herself, and as a stranger on this earth.<br /><br />Thank you for the cards, text messages, voicemails, hugs, and encouraging words. Dustin, my family, and I would really be lost without you. The church is alive and well! <br /><br />Finally, I love you Penny. You are victorious because of Jesus' death & resurrection. See you soon!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-63991848322117267312010-02-07T05:09:00.000-08:002010-02-07T05:32:20.218-08:00Since the time I left for college I have spent my entire adult life away from family in Columbus. Because of this there have been countless visits and countless goodbyes. Goodbyes for my family are rarely done without tears. If I am being honest, this is partially due to the fact that emotions run high in the Miller family (and those of you that know my family know which individuals the emotions really run high). But the real reason for the tears is because of the extreme closeness we feel towards each other. No one is pretending or acting for an academy award when we say goodbye. It honestly hurts to pull the vehicle out of the driveway or walk into the ticketing portion of the airport knowing it will be months until I see sisters, parents, brother-in-laws, or nieces & nephews again. And since Gretchen and I started having those little girls of ours, the tears & emotions during goodbyes are only magnified. We are taking precious granddaughters and nieces away you know! <br /><br />But I would say that no goodbye is going to be as difficult as the one I am about ready to say. In about 45 minutes I will be leaving Penny's house and heading to the airport, bound for MN. I have been here 8 days and away from home a lot this last month and I know I need to return home to my family, friends, and responsibilities there. I am obviously leaving with mixed emotions but I have a weird peace inside. I want to be here for when...well, you know, and maybe I will be able to. But I am relearning once again that I am not really in control of life, death, and time. And just as before I leave my house each morning and say to my wife and daughters, "I love you" with no guarantee of seeing them again, I will do the same today with Penny. On Monday, in the midst of a long meeting with nurses, my sisters, and Dustin concerning how to move forward with Penny's care, I was reminded once again to not leave things left unsaid. So I will say goodbye to this little post, grab the hand of my sleeping sister, and tell her one more time how she means the world to me. There will surely be tears (well, for me - she is sleeping), and "I love you's", and emotions...emotions of sadness, joy, and pride for the privilege it is to know her, share life with her, learn about Jesus from her, and say I am her brother.Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-91053314689293261802010-01-30T13:42:00.000-08:002010-01-30T13:53:47.373-08:00Keep Praying For PennyGretchen and I are in Ohio. Penny is in a significant amount of pain. They doubled her morphine intake a few hours ago. We had a special moment in her room. When I went in to see her she was sleeping so I sat next to her and grabbed her hand. At this point, after holding it in for about 2 weeks, I kind of lost it and cried a little. Penny woke up, looked over at me, and said in an annoyed voice, "Geez Jamie. Stop it." Ahhh - even in her final moments I can still find a way to annoy her like I did for so many years growing up. I love Penny so much. Keep praying! They are trying to get her medicine at a place where her pain can level off.<br /><br />Thanks for all of your support! I really appreciate it. <br /><br />This is a pic of Penny's family from earlier in 2009.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisKTcSjzC638JLwuKvPfYgOkpulbHnGxNnMNO1nmNkg7qsa26mifL3vONSpbL3UHp9fJFK1-z8IDHo_tBHykJvM6_mEradokWfqHnmiaM0-uR0YUbvUiG4c3Z9g90JlXj9HG1eQjcC9p8/s1600-h/17077_290806303696_507588696_3472340_7999341_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 218px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisKTcSjzC638JLwuKvPfYgOkpulbHnGxNnMNO1nmNkg7qsa26mifL3vONSpbL3UHp9fJFK1-z8IDHo_tBHykJvM6_mEradokWfqHnmiaM0-uR0YUbvUiG4c3Z9g90JlXj9HG1eQjcC9p8/s320/17077_290806303696_507588696_3472340_7999341_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432654253625668626" /></a>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-24589188551484394912010-01-25T08:46:00.000-08:002010-01-25T08:49:16.402-08:00Penny UpdateThis is an E-mail I just sent to a bunch of people...<br /><br />Wanted to get another update out to you regarding Penny. It is hard to keep the updates coming as it seems things are happening every day. Here is the latest:<br /><br />Since Thanksgiving Penny has had 3 surgeries and stints put in her kidneys twice. The main problem here is continued obstruction in her bowels. She has been in and out of the hospital four times (including both Thanksgiving & Christmas) and is currently there. Today she is battling a fever and an excelled heart rate. She told Dustin today that last night was the worst night she has had yet. The docs are thinking there is an infection in her kidneys and possibly another obstruction. Penny is very thin and obviously weak and in pain. But let me tell you – she is tough! She is continuing to fight and isn’t ready to quit just yet. If you are praying, here are some specific things to pray for:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Strength</span> – Penny said she still has some things to do and wants the strength to do them. Pray she can get done the things she wants to get done!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Peace</span> – For Penny, Dustin, and my family. It is incredibly difficult to watch someone you love suffer the way she is suffering. Pray as we, and all of you, carry this burden with Penny we will find the hope, joy, peace, and love available with our Savior Jesus. He knows our pain and cares!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Healing</span> – Jesus tells of this parable regarding a man who needs bread for his guests but doesn’t have any. So he goes to his neighbors house and keeps knocking on the door shouting he needs bread until eventually the neighbor gets up and gives him the bread. The parable was said to encourage the followers of Jesus to be persistent in prayer. I have thought of this parable often the last few weeks. I’m not God so I don’t know what He is going to do with Penny but as long as she is drawing breath I will continue to fight on her behalf in prayer – asking God to heal her body. He is able to do this!<br /><br />Thanks so much for your prayers, E-mails, text messages, voice mails, gifts, etc. They mean the world to me and my family. I know Jesus is alive because I have experienced His goodness through you!<br /><br />I realize I am not the greatest on giving updates. If you our on facebook there is a group called “Pray/Encourage the Hoffmans”. You can find the group through my profile. This is a group to leave encouraging messages for Penny & Dustin. But it also serves as a place to read updates on Penny and how more specifically to pray. Feel free to join as I know many of you already have.<br /><br />Grace & peace,<br /><br />JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3543752573222857791.post-36485827656679253922010-01-20T21:41:00.000-08:002010-01-20T21:44:10.665-08:00Travel NotesTwo traveling notes I must mention from today...<br /><br />1. I knew I was in Philadelphia when not even 3 minutes went by since I exited the plane before I saw a man in skin tight gray sweatpants and a Philadelphia Phillies Jersey.<br /><br />2. Flying over the horseshoe right before we landed in Columbus was one of the most beautiful sights I have seen in a long time!<br /><br />Keep praying for Penny...<br /><br />JamieJamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00399052263061739181noreply@blogger.com2